Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

:thumbsup:
 

Roses are Red Violets are Blue by ~Babe91:iconBabe91:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Spiritual > Fixed


Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Oh dear world,
How I hate you,

I hate you with all my heart,
I hate you with all my desire,
But most of all,
I hate you with fire,

I wish I wasent born,
I wish I wasent here,
I wish I was gone,
With only one tear,

Finally my wish has come true,
Now its time to say good-bye,
For all of you out there,
I am going to finally die.
©2005-2009 ~Babe91
:iconbabe91:

Author's Comments

This is what I in a way wish. Its how I fell right now:D

:rose:Please Comment:rose:

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconline-in-the-sand:
~line-in-the-sand May 7, 2005, 10:58:02 AM
Good job. :)
A bit cliche, but what can you do when it's what you feel, eh? I hope you feel better now, or soon. You kept your rhyming scheme up, which is good, but you should also take meter and rhythm into consideration. Poetry reads better when one can read it out loud to a steady beat easily and fluently. However, if I were to try that with this piece, there would be a few places where I'd stumble. You should practise writing with meter, it strengthens writing overall. :nod: Oh, "wasent" should say wasn't. :D
Good job ^^

--
just a minor threat.
:iconbabe91:
~Babe91 May 7, 2005, 2:17:42 PM
thanks :hug:

--
:rose:"I'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly, i'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,and i'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change,and brake away"- Kelly Clarkson:rose:
:iconline-in-the-sand:
~line-in-the-sand May 7, 2005, 2:42:51 PM
No problem at all! :hug:

--
just a minor threat.
:icondraxx66:
*draxx66 May 9, 2005, 7:24:35 AM
Must admit agree with above, nice piece.

Getting a steady beat can be a pain, I've had to alter and redo a few myself because I wasn't (or should that be 'wasent', lol sorry, couldn't resist) happy with the way it flowed. Sometimes it takes a few attempts.

Well done though.
:iconbabe91:
~Babe91 May 9, 2005, 7:26:29 AM
Wow thanks :hug:

--
:rose:"I'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly, i'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,and i'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change,and brake away"- Kelly Clarkson:rose:
:iconseiichi-chan:
~seiichi-chan May 10, 2005, 3:20:44 PM
:hug:

that's so depressing! :cries: :cries: :cries: :cries:

I hope things get better for you :hug:

--
MOVIN\'! MOVIN\'!

:gallery:
:iconbabe91:
~Babe91 May 10, 2005, 5:42:35 PM
Onlu one could hope lol :D

--
:rose:"I'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly, i'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,and i'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change,and brake away"- Kelly Clarkson:rose:
:iconthings-i-go-thru:
~Things-I-go-thru May 11, 2005, 4:31:00 PM
wow tina. you should go show ur poems to I-J she might have them published or put in the anthonlogy, after all, that's what she did to tie (what a bitch) oh well, i guess I-J lies to me like tie does, that's ok i don't need them.......wahhhh!! lol. just joking. anyway back to my point of this damn message. i really like that poem. is it how u feel? i've felt like that before, a lot too. lol. well just wanted to compliment you on your awesome poem!! ok. i complimented. gtg. talk to you later luv ya chickybaby! lol
Previous Page12Next Page

Details

May 7, 2005
577 bytes

Statistics

11
0
240 (0 today)
27 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map

©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy